Being Ok Part 2


Auguste Rodin. «Thinker», Philadelphia museum
Image via Wikipedia

I don’t know if you are like me, but as intentional or unintentional as it is, I usually have a list of “should’s” dangling like a carrot in front of me.  I should vacuum the floor.  I should write that thank you note.  I should call that person.  I should go and exercise.  I should have another glass of water.  I should know what I am going to be when I grow up. 

But if we are honest, what are “should’s”?  They are just self-shaming patterns.  They keep us “less than”.  They keep us from the freedom of being ok being who we are, right now, in all of our circumstances.  The “should’s” are not about other people’s issues with us, the “should’s” are ours. 

Like relationships, I dance with the “should’s”…I will make better choices.  I will stop doing this/that.  But what I know to be true is that if I only change the behavior, I am sure to go back to the pattern in time.  I really can’t stop the dance until I am able to honor what I am doing in the moment, what I need, what I want, or what feels good for me…and walk into honoring my self. 

So what does honoring look like?  Being able to say, “I am ok with allowing myself to sit in my feelings.”  “I am ok if there are dustballs on the floor today.”  “I am ok if right now I don’t have a clue what I want to be when I grow up.”  I think it is when we begin to honor self and stay present with that, that we have choices and can make choices.  In doing so, I believe it is there that the “should” patterns begin to fall away.

Just a little mental banter (give and take in the thought process) today.

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One Reply to “Being Ok Part 2”

  1. Hey…I don’t study Toltec…I think that is the Miguel Ruiz Agreements writings, but I am familiar with them. I have read some of his books on the Agreements. I think much of what my philosophy is crosses all philosophies…if anything, my philosophy takes on more mindfulness…but the foundations of the philosophy that I try to live in and share is that in coming to know who we truly are (our soul) self care comes from the inside out: “What do I want?”, “What do I need?”, and “What feels good for me?” this moment…and in honoring self, then others get the best of who we are…I think it is a very healthy approach to live… As a psychotherapist, I work with individuals of all beliefs and philosophies, so I attempt to speak about core truths and not philosophical ideologies so that others feel connected, feel validated, and can build a trusting relationship. But you are so right, I think whether it is Toltec, mindfulness, bibilical truths, I think the truths are the same. Thanks for the comment.

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