100-Word Flash Friday Fictioneers

20 04 2012

Another wonderful Friday morning…hope where you are, it is the same.  If you are a reader of this blog and normally like to read my thoughts, then don’t feel obligated to read this post, just delete…I won’t in any way be offended.  If you want to read a little fiction I wrote, then read on.

This weeks prompt was a beautiful picture of moss and a drip…and this is what I wrote:

Spelunking

“What the hell?  Were you trying to kill me?  My clothes are goners, I’m never going to get this dirt out.  Look at my knees, my arms, they’re all ripped open.  What the hell was the purpose of that?  I hate you.  I hate this place.”

I sat with Joe, quietly.  We just emerged from the cave, pretty cut up, our clothes pretty nasty, but it was good.  I knew the cave, done this for almost eight years now, taken kids into this cave to push them, it works so often.  Joe’s pretty “pushed” right now.  Just going to hang out with him before we head back to the juvi.

We hung on the rocks for a while. “Hey, Steve, check out that mini-waterfall…it’s kinda cool to watch that drip.”

“Yeah, Joe, it is pretty cool, isn’t it.”

Nature has a way of breaking through.

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19 responses

20 04 2012
rich

i like when attitude can come through from a characters actions without stating it directly.

20 04 2012
Kris Kennedy

Thanks Rich for your comments.

20 04 2012
littlewonder2

That whole first paragraph I read out loud in mock tones because it sounded funny to me, kind of like the dude was a crybaby.

But the rest of it was great. I really liked the characterisation of the other guy. He seemed far more level and understanding.

http://littlewonder2.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/friday-fictioneers-bats/

20 04 2012
Kris Kennedy

I always appreciate your input, Littlewonder…each week you have constructive thoughts I take to heart…thanks

20 04 2012
Sandra

Spelunking – lovely word, and new to me. I love it when I learn something. Nice piece, with a lot happening that isn’t said. Well done.

20 04 2012
Kris Kennedy

Hi Sandra…I receive that as a compliment from you…I admire reading your work and seek out your blog each week to read your work…thanks for stopping by.

20 04 2012
readinpleasure

Why do I think that Steve has something up his sleeve that is not said yet? The suspense is there, can we have some more?

Here is mine: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/fridayfictioneers-diamond-tear-drops/

20 04 2012
elmowrites

I love the idea you convey here – of the guy taking juvi kids out into nature to teach them a thing or two. I did feel like the pace was slightly clunky, but the idea was spot on, and I think sometimes it’s hard to capture something so big in 100 words. so I take my hat off to you for doing that.

I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/friday-fiction-maturity/

20 04 2012
Stacy Bennett-Hoyt

Great psychology here, tough love wisdom. Thanks for the read!

20 04 2012
Amanda Gray Woodward

I like the anger changed to awe. Nature does indeed have a away of breaking through.
mine : http://createrealitylivelife.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/flash-fiction-friday/

20 04 2012
TheOthers1

I’d feel like Joe if I ever went spelunking! Maybe that’s why I plan on never doing it. Great story.

My attempt: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/water-the-earth/

20 04 2012
Gary

Definitely sounds like a form of counselling for troubled youngsters, one which obviously works…in a roundabout way! A unique take on the prompt this week, well done.

My two stories are this-a-way:
http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/fridayfictioneers-death-and-life/

20 04 2012
LupusAnthropos

Good way to get the juvis to “cave.” 😉

Here’s my story: http://wp.me/p24aJS-3Z

20 04 2012
teschoenborn

Nature does have a way of breaking through. Great tale with a moral.

Here’s mine:http://teschoenborn.com/2012/04/20/friday-fictioneer-5/

20 04 2012
Madison Woods

I loved that you used nature to break through to a troubled kid. I’ll bet caving is great therapy when a knowledgeable guide there as in your story.

21 04 2012
Kris Kennedy

thanks for reading, Madison…I send kids to camps like this sometimes…and I too went spelunking…so that is where the photo took me…always fun to write.

20 04 2012
Robert Wyckoff (@TheDrabbler)

Loved it, overall. Definitely makes me want to go spelunking, or at least adventuring. However, I gotta say that first paragraph threw me off. One or two lines of whine is usually enough.
Thank you for sharing : )
Here’s my humorous take at: http://the-drabbler.com/splat/

21 04 2012
Kris Kennedy

thanks for the inpu Robert…will learn from your comments…

21 04 2012
Lora Mitchell

I guess another expression for spelunking is…”tough love”… teaching difficult kids how to survive in caves. Nice work. Here’s mine:
http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

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