Love Is My Community


DSC00852Thought I’d share a poem I recently wrote after a week of seeing, hearing, feeling, and knowing love.  I interact with so many people who, whether spoken or unspoken, question love.  I help some to see that “love gets in” when we begin to show that love to ourselves.  But love is a community, it comes from within, it comes from above, it comes from the arms, neighbors, family, friends, and strangers around us and so this poem:

Love Is A Community

Love is a community

A heavy blanket becomes

A playful hideaway with the lift of a friend’s arms

Scary monsters shadowed on the walls become

Characters in a tale when a friend sees them with you

Sounds of voices – noises become

A lullaby in the protection of a caring embrace

Love is a community

The scatter of papers, clothes, boxes, clutter become

A possibility with the hands of friends

A can of soup, a box of crackers become

Gourmet when not eaten alone

A lament becomes

Poetry when read by another

Love is a community

Love is not a battlefield,

A torture chamber,

An asylum

Love doesn’t profess lies,

Judgment,

Superiority

Love doesn’t promise to stop,

Then forget

Love doesn’t promise to give,

Then change the rules

Love says, I am sorry,

I am sad,

I was wrong

Love takes the first step

In making amends

Love waits,

Stays present, sits quietly,

And trusts

That there will be a time

When words will come

Love is a community

My community

Love

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Enter The Sanctuary


English: Narthex of the church Notre-Dame de l...

Are you familiar with the term narthex? When I was growing up I went to a church and they called the place outside the place you worshiped the narthex. It was the place where everyone talked before and after church. Out of curiosity, I looked up the word in the dictionary and learned that the word narthex was Latin from Medieval Greek, and meant “porch at the end of the early church which was used by penitents not admitted to the body of the church.” I knew it as the place where all the talking happened.

To me, it looked like the narthex was the place to hang out and catch up on the gossip of the community.  It was the place to be. Unlike being in the narthex, going into the sanctuary was hard because you had to be quiet there, you were supposed to sit still, and you were supposed to focus (often on things you really didn’t understand). Sometimes it seems like people would talk in the narthex, interrupt there talking to go into the sanctuary to worship, and then resume their talking in the narthex. Isn’t that how it is in our lives, so often?

Many of us are on a journey of self.  That journey takes many forms spiritually, and to each of us, that journey is different, and yet the same.  We all need to enter the sanctuary of our hearts – that place of quiet, solitude, seeking, grappling, wrestling, rebelling, learning to know, and knowing.  That sanctuary can be anywhere, walking in the woods, driving, in your bedroom, in a formal building, your sacred place, your favorite cozy chair – anywhere, because the sanctuary is in you.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes the hardest place to go is into the sanctuary.  It is so much easier to stand in the narthex and pour out your heart, get the advice of this person, because you know she has gone through something similar to you.  Then you run to catch another person (in the narthex) to chat, then pour out your heart, and get her input.  Need I go on?

Let me tell you about people in the narthex.

  • First of all, they are in the narthex, so that should give you a hint.
  • Secondly, most people in the narthex like to hear your story because it in a way is gossip, a little juice about you and      your adequacies/inadequacies.
  • Thirdly, once they hear, the tendency of many is to start the comparison process inside while you are speaking.  It may go something like this, [Isn’t that something!  Well at least my son didn’t do that.  What kind of mother would let her son do that?]  Then it might go on to this, [Wait until I tell Myrtle, I have to call her and tell her what is going on.]  Then this, [I have to say something supportive. I have to try to help her see it the right way.  Won’t it feel good if my advice works.  That will      make me feel good.  At least saying      it makes me feel like I am better than her because my son didn’t do that, and I am giving her advice.]   Then her words might follow, “I am so sorry.  I will pray for you.  Maybe you should…  Your son, how can he be so ungrateful?  You need to…”  So much goes on in our heads before words of “care” come forth when we are the listener in the narthex.

Somehow, so often the narthex interaction “feels” better.  It feels good to be heard.  It feels good to compare.  It feels good to get advice.  But the truth is we meet our knowing in the sanctuary.  We have all truth and knowing and it is there in the sanctuary of our own knowing, our own heart.  Go in, enter, be present with yourself; meet God there.  Return to simplicity, to rest, to your feelings.  Be present with your emotions: grief, sadness, bitterness, jealousy, delights, joys.  Sit quietly in the confusion, the uncertainties, the fears.  Keep it simple.  Cry out.  Marvel.  Be present.  Observe.  Going into the sanctuary takes time, purpose, seeking, being present.  It is not an intellectual task (I certainly would like to make it that at times).  It does take willingness to go and to be present.

Note about the narthex:  It is certainly ok to find one another in the narthex, but as we all grow to be more comfortable in the sanctuary, the narthex experience changes, becomes more grand, rich, genuine – because when we can be present with ourselves then we are so much more easily present with others.  Just saying…

Intuition – Part 2


I used to think of intuition as that ah-ha moment, that gut feeling, that moment when I get a “supernatural” knowing, but I don’t think of intuition only in that context anymore.  When I talk now about intuition I’m not talking about that occasional “hit” or ah-ha moment, or that occasional gut feeling of knowing, I am talking about living moment by moment, or life-living-knowing. I’m talking about the flow of energy, knowing.  From an energy perspective, intuition is that flow of vibrational frequencies that are coming to us all the time, coming in, sourcing us with knowing.  We are connected through energy, frequencies, in a greater, universal way.  It is this continual connectedness to knowing, that we don’t trust or have cut off and have learned to not trust – feeling more in control or safer staying in our intellect.  Intuition, I think, is living, trusting, and believing that knowing – that constant knowing.

The concept of intuition has such varying perspectives and beliefs, some of which perhaps are so limiting at times, that I wanted to think-out-loud with you about them in this post.  One of those beliefs is that, intuition is an occasional thing, a hit, as I mentioned before.  I think intuition is more than that moment, I see it more as a flow. A second thing is that it comes to us, and I think it is always there for us, it is in us, we are always connected to a greater, more powerful knowing. I think we block it.

Recently, I talked to a cable/internet service electrician about my internet being so weak up in my bedroom.  He said the reason it is weak is that it is the farthest distance away from the modem, but more so, the cause is that I have recessed lighting in my kitchen (which is below my bedroom).  I thought that was kind of funny.  He continued to explain that the frequencies from the lighting in the ceiling and the types of lights that they are, are confounding the signals and frequencies from the modem/internet getting to my bedroom.  Hmmm.  We talked about the possibilities that a booster or an extender (evidently they are two different things) might strengthen the signals and help to intercede with the problem.

In thinking about his explanation of the frequency issues with the lights, I thought in a way, that really is what happens with intuition as well. Intuition is that universal frequency, God frequency, Holy Spirit, Divine energy coming in and always being there and always having connection, source, knowledge at our avail – and yet so many things have gotten in the way of that connection.

Recess lighting, in the analogy, might be our attachment styles.  How we learn to trust people.  How we learn to trust ourselves with people.  How we learn to trust our environment.  How we learn to trust God. Furthering the complexity of frequencies, are our defense mechanisms, coping styles, ego states – all ways we learned/developed through relationships, attachments or lack of, (t)raumas [i.e. a child skinning his knee], (T)raumas [i.e. auto accident].  All of these carry different frequencies of energy (protective, combative, based in emotions, etc.) and they stand in the way of our connectedness to our intuition, our soul knowing – that connectedness to our higher Frequency.

Additionally I think as I mentioned before, perhaps our belief systems become other recessed lights; our culture; the times; the circumstances of our times; the things we listen to, the things we buy into, our dogma, all of those things…the cultural perception of us;  our weight and height, our race, gender, beliefs, all of those things are the recessed lights that get in the way of our being receptive, not even being receptive, but having that frequency come in and be strong in us and through us, and in our being.

So when we start to realize there are all of these recessed lights; some we can change, some we can disconnect their power, some we can move or relocate, others we can put filters on so that they don’t directly affect the frequencies/flows that are coming in to us and through us.  The connectedness we have to knowing is our intuition.  It is not that intuition is a hit, but that given all of the interference, it comes to us as that ah-ha moment, like it is unique or supernatural, like it is something we have to wait for and capture with the chance of missing it.  I think it is always there, at our avail. Our beings have learned to block it or disregard it out of protection or learned management in the world, but it is there.

I agree at times we get surges, those blatant knowing experiences.  They are there, they, I think will always protectively be there for our good.  More so than the surges is our coming to honor or soul – honor our intuition.  How do we continue to recognize, normalize, validate, and learn to work with the recessed lights that are blocking us from the frequencies that are there for us?

Another way I described this concept of the avail of our intuition to someone one time was to say, we have all of these filters and we have to take and move as many filters as we can so that the frequencies can stay strong and pure.  Perhaps the filters would be better understood as shields.  And all of the things I talked about attachment styles, dogmas, emotions, relationships, experiences, trauma, all of those things are the shields that we use…and use is a good word, that we use to keep us from the purity of the frequency coming through.  Because if we all really tapped into that frequency that is there for us, that is scary, unknown, powerful.

I think we do have those capabilities of being powerful, not in an authoritative way, not in a powerful way we know, but in a knowing way, powerful in our intuition in combination with our intellect, powerful in our energetic being, powerful in our really comprehending the circumstances of our universe, our community, our relationships, knowing what it feels like when I have judgment on others, knowing what that judgment feels like as the recipient, knowing what it feels like when I have anger or war feelings, knowing – knowing from a heart knowing, an intuitive knowing, that what  I do unto others, I know what it feels like.  That is the intuition about which I am talking.

That is the analogy perhaps that I wanted to share.  I know that there are some who really say “yes” that is intuition, and there are some others that are in that wonderment stage.  I think we can all grapple with this.  I love the dialogue that has come forth in the comments from my previous blog and I continue to invite those comments, thoughts, contemplations, and grapplings, because it is in that, that we are all moving towards either moving the shields or relocating the recessed lights or taking the power out of them so that we don’t have the confounding frequencies.  We have the avail of the Highest Frequencies all of the time, it is that which I think is intuition.  Thought to integrate: perhaps if you are experiencing low signals, you might want to check your recessed lighting – smile.

100-Words Flash Friday Fictioneers


Had time this week to dabble with the Flash Friday Fictioneer photo from Madison Woods.  My writing went in a kind-of peculiar direction, but I continued to follow it and here it is:

Walk Across America

Hi, Mom.  It’s me.  I can’t believe today is the day.  It is hard to imagine that after eight months of training, today is the day.  Turning back?  You want to know if I’m going to bag it now?  Are you freaking crazy?  Am I scared?  Hell, yeah, wouldn’t you be?   Am I going to call?  Mom, I didn’t even freaking leave yet. I know, Mom, this is hard on you.  Please Mom, please, I am going to be ok.  I love you, Mom. I’ll call you soon. Bye.

 Here goes, through the tunnel, one footstep at a time, until I get home.  Why would she understand, she never left her Long Island neighborhood.

The Alphabet of Self Care


"Mother Earth" by Ballance from Vancouver Island, Canada
One of my favorite paintings.

I have been working on writing different types of poetry now for years.  At the end of last year, I wrote this “alphabet poem” about self care.  Included in this poem are the foci of what I believe and share about self care.  I hope you enjoy!

The Alphabet of Self Care

Accept all of you – you will teach others how to do the same

Breathe – it expands your consciousness and awareness

Crying is cleansing – don’t let anyone tell you differently

Deliberately live – choices are in every experience

Experience life – it is going to happen anyways

Filters protect – but listening without them reaps better connections

Gift yourself with the journey – it is worth it

Honoring self is a gift to you, others, and the world

Intuition and intellect go hand in hand – you have both, honor that in you

Journey into the above and below – you can’t know you without knowing all truth

Kindness with others is easier – how about kindness with self

Laugh when you are able – it does more than feel good

Moment by moment is always a new beginning

No good, bad, right, or wrong – judgment leads to shame – shame keeps you stuck

Overflow grace to self – self criticism serves no purpose

Practice patience – patiently practice

Quietly listen – the heart will speak

Rest – nothing to fear…and it brings rejuvenation

Singing brings a new vibration to the soul

Treat yourself as if you have all the time in the world for you

Upstream doesn’t get you there

Validate and honor actions – there is always a reason

Worth is a man-made concept – accept that you are worth it and move on

Xenial – be hospitable to self as you would a stranger

You, you, you  – it is all about you

Zero in on the things that are important to you – so much time is wasted on what we think is expected

©Kristin Kennedy, 2011

 

Freedom in Truth


Starbucks Ueno
Image via Wikipedia

Got some freedom in my truth today – Starbucks was the classroom!  I had the privilege of saying hello to a friend today in Starbucks and she asked about my writing.  I spoke it out loud!  I told her I hadn’t been writing manuscripts lately because I had lost faith in myself.  I said it.  I had known what was going on inside for some time, but I finally said it out loud.  In one way it felt really good, in another way it was pridefully unsettling, so I then quickly commented that I was writing poetry and other things – to cover up my own shame or judgment.

I left Starbucks with a myriad of feelings: relief that I finally exposed feelings that were containing and blocking my creativity and desires; self-condemnation for not driving myself towards a goal, fear of what others might think if I am less than (even though I knew this person understood and was very accepting of me – it wasn’t about her, it was about old feelings of shame, I knew that); and if I dig deep enough I know there are more.  I am not unique.  I know you have had such experiences.  We have multiple feelings, simultaneous feelings, and contradictory feelings inside all of the time.  I am challenged anew every time an event like this occurs because I have come to learn that my goal is not to necessarily judge the feelings, shame the feelings, make them all go away, but can I be with all of them, accept them, and know that they are all present for a reason without judgment.

The gift of the morning was that I exposed that I have been struggling with writing; I exposed the fears of a next step in the process; and I didn’t judge all of the internal responses and feelings.  Grace and acceptance are wonderful things.

Hope today is a day that you can extend yourself grace, expose safely things that are hindering you, and accept that in this moment
feelings can be simultaneous, complimentary, and conflicting, and they are all ok.  I am glad that I went to Starbucks
and saw a friend.

Hay(na)ku


Rainy Day FunRain, Rainy weather
Image via Wikipedia

If you dabble with poetry, you might want to check out Robert Lee Brewer’s Poetic Aside Blog…each week on a Wednesday he gives poetry prompts to stimulate ideas with opportunities to share with the poetry blog community.  Periodically there are challenges and contests that are fun to try as well.

The current challenge is to write Hay(na)ku, 3-lined poetry with one word on the first line, two words on the second, and three words on the third line.  I thought I would share a few that I dabbled with, with you.  If you get stimulated to be creative, I would love to read your Hay(na)ku, please share…and go to http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/poetic-asides and submit your poetry.

One,

Two, Three

Make a Community

 

Cart

Before Horse

Means Extra Work

 

Go

Go Inward

Light Illuminates Way

 

Spice

Brings Joy

To My Tastebuds

 

Rain

Gentle Rinse

Feels So Good

 

Tail

Wags Dog

Usually Means Accident