So much to experience, so much to feel… When we take time to sit and watch, be present with ourselves and with the world around us, the world unfolds much beauty…and reality, and helps us to get in touch with all of our emotion. I thought I would share what I have been experiencing through pictures:
I have written several times over this past year about the chipmunks and squirrels out my window…if you remember, years ago I used to call them “skeevy rodents”…but as I have taken time to experience them, interact with them, and watch their interactions with me, I have learned to have a respectful, loving relationship with them…not without up’s and down’s though…
Here is one of my friends sitting outside of his/their metropolis – I equate the behind the rocks kingdom to Manhattan because I can only imagine that is what it looks like in there. In my rock wall which has receded almost a foot because of the rodent kingdom behind, there are no less than 20 entries, doors, tunnels to the inner world…most of which were re-created after I planted the wall with sedum. Doesn’t he look so innocent?
Did I mention that I love these little guys so much like family that I am growing tomatoes to share with them? Hmmm…yes, that is a juicy, ripe, red tomato…I didn’t realize I had a co-op.
I started to have feelings of dislike. Not only did they create a world that caused my wall to fall backwards, now they are stealing my tomatoes. I stopped sitting outside because they are always under foot. As much as I say I am not scared of them, every single time they run under me, my being is startled. What I didn’t mention was that my next door neighbor feeds them peanuts all day long. My wall is their inner world, one of their communities, and my patio is their freeway. When she puts peanuts out, they will run deliveries back and forth until their job is complete…I think my neighbor on the other side must house their pantry.
I went so far as to investigate how to “get rid” of them because my back yard was no longer mine. Here is where the “guilt” sets in…some would suggest gratitude, but here is the emotional turning point. Just when I started the investigation of termination, out of nowhere comes:
Yes, I live in a neighborhood where no outdoor pets are allowed. At first I thought, how cute…she passed through day after day, stalking the wall, the residents, but in my naiveté, I assumed one big happy community.
I sat one day writing and out of the corner of my eye, there she was…and there she went with one of the little chippies in her mouth…off to the woods for dinner. I was so sad, no longer were they “trespassing-in-the-way-frustrating-rodents”, my friend was just hauled off for dinner. Needless to say, I started putting my energies to protecting these little guys, whom days before, I was looking to eradicate. The next day I was on the sofa, and in my periphery, once again, it happened. This time though, he hung in the cat’s mouth and it was like we made eye contact – we both knew the inevitable… more sadness.
I used to have opinions about roadside memorials and now look how things change…(pun intended)
I have one little guy left, he is like royalty to me now ( again, pun intended)…we talk every time he shows up. To finish the story, the cat came to my step as I was writing, sat there in eye-to-eye contact, almost to say, “I did it for you, is it OK now? Are you OK?” He didn’t move and maintained total eye contact for minutes. Then, as well, I couldn’t be mad at her either. [Did I tell you, I am not a fan of cats?]
What did I learn? Every moment in our lives can have a multitude of emotions, that juxtapose, co-exist, compete, but we can be OK having all of them. We can sit in sadness. We can sit in frustration. We don’t need to act on frustration, we can be in it and it can be OK. In the big picture “most” everything is really OK. I say “most” because not everything is OK, people getting hurt is not OK, but my wall falling in, the natural life cycle, feelings, yes, they are OK. LIfe happens, and no matter what is going on, all can be OK.